T S Vahini

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                                                               🙏🏻🙏🏻Shradhanjali 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Back home after attending T S Vahini's 13th day rituals and took charge of the my house hold chores. Met many near and dear relatives yesterday. The day got busier with family, friends, puja-patha and the food prepared. Sometimes it sounds so mechanical to get caught in such customs we follow year after years, not really giving enough thought to it, but the number of attendees during these days gives you how the departed soul has lived and invested in these relationships.

Vahini was one such figure, who was made to live up an image which her maternal and matrimonial family had visioned for her and she very much willing accepted this role.

Married at the tender age of 19, she was the most sought of bride for my uncle Sharad mama and for his entire family. Ushamaushi narrates her first hand experience, saying, she was a kid and on the day they went to see their to be vahini, she was so impressed by her and took an instant liking for her.  

Vahini as a bride agreed to enter the family knowing the nuances of a joint family and her husband being the karta of the family. I remember her telling me, that, her father confirmed with her before her agreeing to this marrige. Caught up in a culture and ambition, she went by her inner calling and as Madhuri stated, became the 'Universal Vahini' of the Kate clan, being the eldest daugter in law in the family.

Blessed with art and music, she would have been an icon in today's world, however, going by the bygone era, she believed and lived the image of vahini.

Easily available for one and all, caring, nurturing and evening pampering to certain extents, with her soft voice but stern thoughts. Anyone would love and respect her for what she was and what she would do.

She was my Yshodamai and not just mai, which she was popularly known as before her marriage. She has more than equally contributed during my growing years and our stay in Nagpur and even thereafter. My relation to her was (not like but) of mother and daughter. With this clearly the barrier of any other tag is lifted. 

One of my fondest memory as a child is, each one in the house would hum the marathi song, ' गोरी गोरी पान, फुलं सारखी छान, दादा मला एक वहिनी आण'...😊

As a child, I accompanied her everywhere and participated in all the gatherings and functions with her and Sharad mama. I distinctly remember her introducing me everywhere and then ending up saying, 'yes' she is like my daughter. This was blessing in disguise for me, as vahini was blessed with 3 boys and no girl. I came to know all her maternal relatives, with many of them I still continue to be in touch as my own. We enjoyed a special bond as Sharad mama also approved this and both would equally pamper me and even correct me when I was wrong or naughty.

She was given her due respect by one and all including Sharad mama. I still have great memories of diwali celebrations, when mama would buy the loveliest saree for her. I would always admire his choice for her.

She reciprocated the same with open heart and became a prime figure of everyone's life and she touched each ones heart. I am sure each one of us in this generation will realise how hard it must have been for her to blend with this role.

If I had to continue still further, maybe, I can write pages after pages, but when yesterday Ashamami requested me, to say few words for her, I was actually short of words, how can I describe my entire childhood, my memories with her, my culnery discussions with her, the disagreements and the whole lot of togetherness we enjoyed, that too in just a few words? Indeed difficult! Loss of a great part of my life.

My deep respect for her departed soul and sure she will live in with us while we are still alive in our memories, thoughts and actions.

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